ten very common
limiting beliefs
that could be holding you back
I am delighted you are curious to learn more about what might be standing in your way of achieving wild success and the spectacular life you are truly meant for.
The below is a list of the things I’ve heard most often from clients and those I have believed deeply myself.
I walk this road beside you. I haven’t mastered all of them to the point of them never popping up for me, but I readily recognize them as stories (not facts) when my brain offers them up to me. I also have a rock solid plan for addressing them head on, which I’ll share here.
Working with our limiting beliefs is a practice. I utilize a framework created by Bryon Katie, and I offer several examples of this at the end as a place for you to start.
01. NOT WORTHY ENOUGH
Sounds like:
I am not good enough. I am not skilled enough.
I am not talented enough. I am not special enough.
I have not earned the right to follow my dreams.
02. NOT ENOUGH MONEY
People are financially dependent on me. I have bills to pay.
I don’t have enough money for what I want to do.
I can’t spend my hard-earned money on myself.
03. NOT ENOUGH FLEXIBILITY
I took unbreakable vows. I will not disappoint others.
Many people depend on me. I have to put others first.
I cannot change the terms of my relationships; any of them.
04. NOT ENOUGH SUPPORT
I do not fit in. I do not belong anywhere. No one gets me.
I am going to end up alone. I have no one to talk to.
No cares about me. I do not have people in my life that I trust.
05. NOT ENOUGH PURPOSE
I do not have a purpose in life. My life does not matter.
I don’t even remember what joy feels like; it’s been so long.
I am not interested in anything. I am not important.
06. NOT ENOUGH OPTIONS
Sounds like:
I am trapped. I do not have the option to change my life.
I can only see two ways forward; I don’t like either of them.
I have to do X. I do not have a choice in how I live my life.
07. NOT ENOUGH TIME
It is too late for me. There is not enough time.
I spend all my time taking care of other people. I’m too old.
I do not have time to do what I want or what is good for me.
08. NOT ENOUGH CONFIDENCE
This could ruin my life. This could tarnish my reputation.
I am not willing to risk what I have for what could be.
I do not like change; never have, never will.
09. NOT ENOUGH CERTAINTY
I cannot start until I know precisely how it will turn out.
I need more information before making a decision.
I do not know how to start or how long it will take.
10. NOT ENOUGH TRUST
I am not ready. I do not think I can have a better life.
I do not think I have what it takes to see this through.
I do not think I’ll ever get what I want in life.
UGH! NOW WHAT?
UGH! NOW WHAT?
Let’s start examining these painful thoughts. These stories.
For any limiting belief that sounds a little too familiar, I recommend completing the following journaling activity for each one.
Start with one, see how it feels. If it feels good, try another. This doesn’t have to be done today. Go slow.
Journaling Activity
Recommended time: Five (5) minutes
Directions
Step 1: Identify a thought that creates pain or suffering
Step 2: Come up with an opposite thought
Step 3: Write down five examples of how the opposite thought might be true
Example
Step 1: Under the “not worthy enough” umbrella, “I’m not talented enough” might create some anxiety or suffering within you. Start there. You can complete this activity for any other painful thoughts, but we’ll start with this one.
Step 2: Some opposite thoughts might include:
I am talented
I am talented enough
I am very talented
There are others, but let’s go with “I am talented” for now.
Step 3: Find five real examples from your life that might make the statement “I am talented” true.
Perhaps they sound like …
I was recently promoted, which came with a raise. That might mean they see me as talented.
I have received excellent feedback on my job performance in the past.
My daughter laughs hysterically when I pretend to be a monster and chase her around the living room.
My husband told me the dinner I cooked last night was good. He cleaned his plate and went back for seconds.
I got a compliment last week at work on my big presentation.
The examples can be from anywhere. The key here is to find real examples from any area of your life that might provide evidence of how the opposite is true. Often our brains pretend these examples don’t exist.
If you can find one, you can find two.
If you can find two, you can find three.
Let’s do one more example and then I have something special for you at the end.
STEP 1: Identify the painful thought
“I don’t even remember what joy feels like.”
STEP 2: Generate an opposite thought
“I do remember what joy feels like.”
STEP 3: Collect evidence in support of the opposite thought
I had a blast going canyoning in Portugal earlier this year; I laughed my ass off
The sound of gravel underneath my car tires always makes me happy; it sounds like freedom
I always take a moment to appreciate that first sip of coffee in the morning; it is ‘small’ but impactful
The way my dog rested her head on my foot last night while I was watching TV made me smile; she’s so cute and sweet
I received a random call from a friend the other day who just wanted to catch up; she didn’t need anything or want anything other than to spend a little time together
I hope this demonstrates for you that these painful thoughts are not always true. They might be, but in my experience, the vast majority of the time they are not. They are stories. Stories we believe hook, line, and sinker. I offer this practice to you as a gift that you can explore on your own, with friends, or in community with me.
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?
FIRST
Check out this video where I work through a very challenging limiting belief that I still haven’t mastered. I offer this as a teaching tool as well as a way to let you in. Being vulnerable like this feels like a bit of a risk, even when I know how powerful it is. If you’d like to see The Work done in real time, check it out.
It could open up a one-way door for you that takes you to your most spectacular life. Might be worth it. You decide.
SECOND
I’d also like invite you to check out more on this practice directly from Byron Katie. She has a wealth of free resources available to get you started at her website. The time I’ve spent doing “The Work” with her in person, with friends I’ve met who live all over the world, and on my own has had an outsized impact on my personal success, level of satisfaction, and ability to perform.
Highly recommend.